U G L Y

Mike and I decided to go to church today, since we haven't been since I had surgery.

I thought I'd be able to get in and out without having to talk to anyone.. that didn't happen.
 I felt like a total idiot, trying to hold conversations with people with a barely functioning mouth.

A year ago, if someone asked me what my life would look like today, I never would have thought like this. I don't know what I would have thought, but I'm sure it wouldn't have been me, trying shoving sacrament bread into my  fat mouth at church.

I'm taking it all in though, and embracing the ugly.
And what better way to do that, than with an ugly sweater photo shoot?

Are these not the worst pictures ever?
 We were having way too much fun. We decided to drive around and find the biggest, fanciest house we could, and pretend like we lived there, and take our pictures in front of it!
The guy was watching us, and it was way too hilarious. We decided to act like we were really in to it. We tried to keep straight faces while posing like dorks, in ugly sweaters, on some guys lawn.

And Yes. You can bet your buttons, these are going to be our Christmas cards this year.

Happy Holidays!

FOUR WEEKS

Journal Dec. 6 2013
I went to see Dr. Egbert today. His face was priceless when I told him that Dr. Knoles had told me I could get my braces off in two more appointments. There was a kid there, Mike and I guessed he was about 16. He had his wisdom teeth extracted and was saying how bad it was, haha. Then he asked me if that was why I was there. Nope. I got jaw surgery. He said he could tell now. Then he mimicked my speaking through my teeth while squishing he cheeks together. Thanks kid. 

There was another lady there, "butter knife lady" DR. E. has  told me about her because she ate with a butter knife after surgery because her mouth wouldn't open wide enough for anything else. Anyway, she showed me pictures of herself after surgery, and we sat there comparing pictures. She is starting on week five now and is still numb. She looks really good though, and is only wearing her bands 4 hours a day and then at night. I wonder if that's what I'll get to do at week 5.. I hope so! I get so hungry. I'm sure that that is contributing to my lack of energy since surgery. I'm almost 4 weeks post op. The time has flown by. I feel like at 4 weeks I should feel a lot better than I do, but then I remember how big the surgery was, and realize my body is healing really well for it only being 4 weeks. Everyone else I hear about is just as tired as I am at this week. I just am afraid Mike thinks I am being lazy. I am, but it's because I can't help it! haha. Breclyn took me to see Dr. knoles yesterday, and then we went to the craft store. It was a lot of fun, but I got really sore towards the end, and was totally worn out by the time we got home. Unfortunately, even with Tylenol PM. I still can't sleep. I have been falling asleep between 4 and 5 every night. From what I've heard though, I'm not the only one. So that's reassuring. I guess.

Shopping last week.

...*...

This was my Journal entry last week. I had to copy it over here, because guess what? I'm 4 weeks post op now, and It is wonderful!
No more wondering what 4 weeks will be like.

At my appointment yesterday, he gave me the ok to sleep on my side, my stomach, how ever I like to sleep, I can! No more sitting up :)

I now take my bands off FOUR times a day for TWO hours each time! I wanted to throw a party right there in his office!!

He showed me a little exercise to do, to get my mouth to open wider. By Monday, I should be able to open it wide enough for my thumb to fit in sideways! Move over 2 year old. There's a new thumb sucker in da house!

Next week I will be wearing my bands even less than I am right now!

And on Christmas day, I'm in the clear to eat whatever I can! No more not being "allowed" to eat anything. If it doesn't hurt (but it will) I can eat whatever I want! I know I won't be able to bite into an apple, but it's nice to know that if I wanted to, I could. Lol.

I'm still recovering, and still swollen. I'm still numb and I'm still taking pain meds. But I can't believe how great things are :)

Oh happy day.

Hang in there guys, It get's a lot better!

Also! Did you see the date?I'm a little behind jumping on the bandwagon, But hey! It's got to be 12:12 on 12/12/'12 somewhere in the world :)

Deeeeelicious!

I'm feeling much like a raccoon these days. (not because of the pants) Sleeping in late and not sleeping at night. I don't know why this is, but it seems like a lot of people who have jaw surgery are going through this same sleep pattern..
Are you??
Mornings are the worst. I drool at night, and my face swells, and I wake up hours after I was supposed to take more medicine, so I'm in a bit of pain. All is well though :) This afternoon, (my morning) I am enjoying the delicious smell of bacon cooking in the kitchen. I obviously won't be eating it, but I'll be eating the eggs doused in fresh maple syrup from Grandpa's farm back east. Can you say yum?

I get my stitches taken out on Tuesday. I am both excited and dreading it at the same time. It's gonna be painful.

Thank you all for your sweet comments :) I love reading them, and knowing that I still have readers who care about what I have to say. Haha, sometimes I'm not sure I would even care about what I have to say... kind of like this post.

Oh! If you have a good BBQ place, much like the Dickies I get to live near, you must order their loaded mashed potatoes and their side of macaroni and put some BBQ sauce on it! It is such a good change from the normal "recovery food."
You're taste buds will thank you. I promise.

smile

This was my best attempt at a smile. My face is still numb and I have a lot of tissue still, especially in my chin.   So my face is pretty funky right now. I don't think the swelling has changed in the last week. The pain is still the same as well. 

My house is a total wreck right now. It's killing me to have it like this.
There are lights on only half of the tree, the box of ornaments is taking up one of our chairs, and there is a pile of stuff sitting in the same place it was sitting in two days ago. Somehow I still have dishes in my sink, and our dumb dog is lying on the floor chewing on one of the 4 collars she has managed to break through this week. I don't know how she does it. I put her out and when I go to let her back in, I find her chain stretched as far as it will go, and her collar sitting at the end of it. You all don't know this. But I hate having a dog in the house.

But this is my life lately. And my heart is happy.
Because even though I may hurt and have a goofy smile, God is watching out for me. I am healthy and recovering.
 There are dishes piling up in the sink, but that means we are not going hungry.
 Our $20 Christmas tree might be lacking in beauty, but at least we have one this Holiday season.
My home might have piles of unfinished projects lying around, but I'm thankful I have a home at all. 

And the fact that I have a stupid pet, just shows my husbands unconditional love. Even if it's for a dog.

So when I'm sitting here without enough energy to clean my annoyingly unorganized home. I just have to smile my goofy smile. Because this is life right now. But I am thankful for it.

23 days post op

Wow. It doesn't seem like my surgery was that long ago, until I use days instead of weeks. Twenty-three days seems so long! I remember before my surgery when I would creepily stalk other jaw bloggers, and see their 23 days post op and think surgery must have been forever ago! Now I realize it isn't. It's only 3 weeks. I really can't believe how quickly the body can heal from a surgery that big, and I also can't believe how long it takes it to recover. Ho. ly. crow.

I'm slowly regaining control of my face. I have a lot of built up tissue in my chin and behind my upper lip, that is making my smile look a bit funny, if not feel that way. Not to mention the swelling. It has gone down quite a bit, but it's still there. It's afraid to leave. Go ugly puff! Be free so I can be free!

I've become a lot better at eating, and am able to fill up in my one hour eating time. I eat breakfast at 11:00, Lunch at 6:00 and dinner around 10:00. I can't do those nasty syringes. I really didn't think it would bother me, but it totally does! Hot cocoa's a pretty good "in between" treat. It's warm and filling. Chicken pot pies are awesome. Not the Chicken, obviously, and not always the carrots, but everything else is delicious! Another good thing to have is re-fried beans, with melted cheese, some sour cream, and a fresh avocado. Mmm mmm. I also eat Macaroni and Cheese with a little BBQ sauce and it fills me up and tastes my fine. I ate a frozen burrito with Ranch dressing and diced tomatoes today and it was really good too. Tomorrow I think I'll make a green bean casserole. It's my moms recipe and I love it. Green beans, cream of mushroom soup, and sour cream. Really complicated, guys.

I go back to see My surgeon (Dr. E) tomorrow. He is either going to take out what are left of the stitches tomorrow or next week, and I am reeeally dreading it. He took one out for me last week and it killed like the dickens. Speaking of; I went to my ortho today for the first time since surgery, and oh my heck it hurt. He is not a nice Ortho, I tell you what. I mean we already knew this, but c'mon! I just had surgery! Do ya really have to hit my face so many times?

I cannot wait for all of this to be so far behind me. Does the day ever come? I can't wait to be able to open my mouth as wide as it can go when ever I want! I cannot wait to bite into a delicious sandwich, or yawn with out it hurting. To laugh and not have stitches or sensitive skin tear. And to sleep in any position but sitting up. Oh man how I can't wait for that! So tell me, oh wise ones, when does this day come?? Is it everything I imagine it to be?? Does anyone even read this blog anymore, or am I just writing to myself? Anyone?
LOL

And look! It's me and the Christmas wreath I made tonight.

Last day of week 2

Well, tomorrow starts week 3.

 DOES THIS RECOVERY TIME EVER END???

My stitches are still falling out.

I still can only open my mouth so wide.

I'm still sleeping sitting up.

I am still weak.

I still feel sick.

I did however, eat a bean and cheese burrito from Cafe Rio! So delicious. So wonderful. So soft and easy to eat.

I also got up enough energy to actually do my hair after the shower. And by "do" I mean blow dry it. It's progress, m'kay? I also put on make up! See? I can be a real person. 

Even though my face is still completely numb and I feel gross.

I was also able to eat Lasagna with Cottage Cheese. I couldn't eat the meat very well, but boy it tasted good!

Hope you had a good weekend!